Stillwood

Model: Stephanie Bartlett
Accesories: BE IN, by Stephanie Bartlett

–Dance like nobody is watching–

After the Rain

Three months in silence. It feels somewhat intimidating to write again after what seems to have been a million years pause. So much has happened in so little time that I can say I have definitely grown as a person with all more than I've done so in a few years time.

A lot of bad things kept happening to the point that I thought nothing worse could occur and oh wonder, it did.

It has been hard, and those close that know this whole chapter of my life know what horrible nightmare this has been in so many ways, and how each "development" of the story only made it worse.

Several car accidents and mishaps, lots of hatred against me from I people I used to care a lot about and that inevitably I hurt as well, backstabbing from "friends" and getting to see who really is there for me and who is not, poison, poison, gallons of poison everywhere, terrible emotional stress and pretty much this terrible bad dream I wanted to wake up from but I couldn't.

Changes, changes, changes, lots of changes in so many different aspects of my life.

For the first time in about four years I realized I was in love, really in love. But I have now learned and understood that not necessarily all love stories have happy endings, what is important is I cherish every single moment I shared with a certain young dreamer. I followed my heart and did all I could. The sorrow I can't help to feel is soothed by the calmness of knowing I did my best. 

I couldn't find any strength to post here all this time, but I figured out it would be best to come back here not with pictures of anyone, but self portraits. 

Pictures of me, and how I have been feeling all this time, vulnerable, raw and exposed.

Hey, I am only human, I walk, I stumble, I fall. But I get up, and this is me, taking baby steps, one tiny step at a time. I have so many good things to enjoy, so many good friendships to thank and cherish for all their incredibly superhuman support and love always (you know who you are and all you've done for me, which means more than words will ever be able to describe, I am forever indebted to you for being the most amazing human beings I know), and so many dreams and ideas that make me excited and high on life. Rainclouds are gone.

I breathe life once more.

I am no longer afraid.