Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The most inspiring conversation of 2013.

Today I had the most inspiring and meaningful conversation of 2013. 

For this I have to thank my friend, whom I hadn't seen in several years. These years have been more than enough to twist and turn our lives upside down and downside up and back again, like the craziests of rollercoasters, yet there we were, as if we had never parted. 

And I just sat there, listening to his story, living every little detail feeling amazed at how much we've gone through since we last saw each other.  We laughed at how we used to be and what we used to talk about and how we are today, and I just looked at the hurt in his eyes when he told me all the bad stuff that's happened to him, and then the spark in them when he was telling me about all his dreams come true and the ones still in process. 

We talked for hours.

And even after we said goodbye, my mind's just been racing and meditating on all we talked about today. I look back at how I was all those years ago, many things I had forgotten, all the dreams I had back then and how many of them have come true, and how my core me is still the same, yet how much I have changed and learned, much of that learning through falling. 

Because I've learned it takes great courage not to fall, but to learn to get up every single damn time and say, HEY, I CAN DO THIS. 

In my opinion, one of our educational systems' biggest failure is that you get taught about math, chemistry, biology, physics, you name it, yet you are not taught about how to live, how to love, how to pursue your dreams, how to handle heartbreak, how to live a passionate and fulfilling life, how to enjoy ice cream on a sunny day and how good it feels to go barefoot on grass.

How one of the most important things in life is to never lose that childlike spark and sense of wonder about the world around us.

And eventually we get lost in the hecticness of life, we forget to stop and just enjoy the little moments. We forget we are HERE, RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT, and that whatever happened before it's already over and whatever may come next it's not yet here anyway and may never actually come to pass. 

We forget to ask ourselves if we are actually happy doing what we are doing, and if the answer is no… what are we waiting for to change it?

We forget sometimes it IS okay to feel sad, to feel lonely, and that it IS okay because we are human after all.  That it is normal to want to be alone for a while, that it is normal to want that hug at 2am on a chilly night and that it IS okay to have a bad hair day and just stay home. 

We get lost. 

I get lost. 

I get lost in  the day-to-day, in overthinking way too much and getting worried over things that aren't really important. 

But in the end, we all find our way. No matter how crazy or bad we think a situation is, eventually it all works out and we are left with a valuable lesson and an extra notch of strength. Every scar is not meant to be hidden but worn proudly instead, because just like every soldier gets medals of honor, every scar says I-HAVE-LIVED. 

I don't want to be whatever title is a synonym of success these days. I just want to live passionately and feel passionately and dream passionately and TRY to be the best person I can be every day a little more surrounded by the people I love. 

We are nonconfirmsts. We are dreamers. We want MORE.

It comes with a price, for "these times are hard for dreamers" but I know no other way to live.

Kerouac put it too well when he wrote “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

I just marvel, at how the Universe conspires in our favor. How an opportunity comes out of the blue and it's up to you to get up and grab it. How people come and go, and how it IS okay for people to come and go from our life, those who must stay, stay.  How things happen when they're supposed to happen, given you steer in that direction through action. 

That things take time, and that sometimes you want time to get by quickly but also sometimes flies by TOO fast and before you realize it's gone.  That every single moment counts because you don't know when all of it will be gone. 

"Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus, singula dum capti circumvectamur amore" (But meanwhile it flees: time flees irretrievably, while we wander around, prisoners of our love of detail)

That if we do good, we get good. And if we do bad, we get bad. 

How it is okay to say no, to people, to relationships, to opportunities, to things, if they're not gonna make us a better person. 

That true friends DO exist, it's just a matter of finding them. Or them finding you. And that caring for a friendship goes both ways. 

That letting go, letting go of all bad feelings and insecurities is the way to go. To let go for a living.

How the Universe sends you something in the right time, a sign, a good conversation like the one I had today, a new friendship, a rekindled friendship, a kid smiling back at you in the street, to constantly remind you that you shouldn't be taking yourself too seriously, or a reality check slap to get you back on track on what really matters.

Today made me get my heart and mind back on track in so many ways. 

I'm very happy and thankful about rekindling a very valuable friendship. Have a friend you haven't talked to in a while? Just do it.

And maybe, maybe I'm just crazy and you get nothing from this, or maybe we are all crazy and I can make you think about what I've been thinking about all day. And maybe you read a paragraph and you thought "I'm done with this nonsense" or you read the whole thing just out of curiosity, 

All that matters is you realize you are HERE, RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT, totally, utterly and completely ALIVE, even if it's for a few seconds. 

And you smile.